Thoughts – Jeanne Nest

Hi, everyone!

This question was something that I asked, when I looked at my 11-year-old brother.

He is currently “preparing” for the Year 7 admissions exams in another school. Well… I can’t really call it preparing.

He was notified of the exam date a month in advance, providing him the time to practise his English and maths.

Six days are now left, five of which are school days, and he has yet to do a practise paper. My parents and I have tried the “carrot and stick” method on several occasion, for example allowing him to play his Xbox only if he has done a certain amount of work, however that is no longer effective. He prefers to loiter around doing absolutely nothing, than spend a solid hour writing and playing afterwards.

We have also stressed the importance and the consequences of failing this exam, but he refuses to listen.

It would have all been fine, if he was good at doing both of these papers, and simply refused further practice, but that is not the case here.

I have no doubt that if he continues at this rate, he will fail.

I think back upon that time when I sat these exams, and the thought of not practising beforehand never crossed my mind. In my head, it was a given that this was what was required of me, and it wasn’t a matter of want or don’t want.

So here are some questions that I asked myself, based on this situation:

How to motivate oneself to do something, if there isn’t a goal or a dream that they have?
How to set a goal, if there isn’t anything particular that you want in life?
How to better explain and deliver the value of a certain action or process, like in my case, how can I tell my brother the importance of this exam, for him to truly understand?

I look forward to hearing what you guys think,

Comment below what you would do, if you were in my place.

Hi, everyone! I would like to share something with you that happened to me a couple of days ago. I am sure that some of you can relate.

I will start off with saying that I am quite an introverted person. I like to spend most of my time indoors by myself, writing and reading. I have very few friends, who accept me the way I am.

However, there are people in my life that don’t find my secluded lifestyle acceptable. I am talking about my parents. They are very old-fashioned and think that life should be out there doing something physical and integrating actively into the community. They believe that you always have to do something and are strongly opposed to my schedule as it mainly involves sitting in front of the screen.

This was nothing new. However the tension in the house has been increasing lately, building up to my stress. Even though it appeared to be against my will, I started to think of ideas to please my parents. Though, to no avail.

And so a couple of days ago, I burst. I let out all of the build-up frustration on my father. Not the best idea, but I was too far gone.

“Dad, what do I have to do to stop hearing you complaining about my lifestyle? How can I please you?” I asked.

My dad looked at me with wide eyes and let out a heavy sigh.

“There has never been any mentioning of pleasing. All I ever disagreed about was your lack of life outside your computer, phone, etc.” He said.

“But I can’t do anything outside at the moment!” I argued. Due to personal circumstances I can’t work and all my friends are spread across the country with lives of their own.

“Well then just do what you want to do. You have to understand that you and I live in different worlds, where the way we see it differs greatly. You just have to stay true to yours, no matter what everybody around you thinks or says.” My dad said.

That is when the realisation finally hit me. Of course, I was aware that people are entitled to their own views and opinions, but the difference never really sank into me before until my father, a person who I am very close to, told me to live my life the way I want it, without trying to please him or anyone else for that matter.

What about you? Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you had to please a person who was important to you to become better in their eyes?

Let me know through the comments.